Why Valentine’s Day is a Dumb Idea.

Valentine’s Day is not only coming up, but it’s ridiculous.
Don’t buy her flowers, don’t buy her candy, don’t buy her something shiny, don’t take her to dinner, and for the love of everything manly, DO NOT PROPOSE.

Before the haters hate, pop a squat for a lesson on some lovin’.

Why do girls like those sillysob stories that make them cry? Is it because the hero is handsome and wonderful? Oh yeah, Ryan Gosling will whoop you in some manhood every day all day long. (Okay, that’s a lie. He’s both vegan and soooooooooorta girly, but lawdy he’s handsome.
But that’s not actually the reason at all.
Girls love those chickflicks because of the element of surprise. In nearly every movie, he shows up on her doorstep in pouring rain with a see-through shirt on and a bouquet of smooshed flowers because he ran twelve blocks uphill to confess his undying love for her.

318.9 million people live in America. 44% of those millions are single, which means well over 160 million people will be joining you for dinner. Which is not romantic.
Idaho has the lowest rate of single people in the US. Random, but right now 50% of our readers live in Idaho.
Most women put faith in a commercial holiday solving their problems, because it’s easy.
40% of all women in the United States report actual chocolate cravings year round.
100% of women love surprises.

If you want to melt her heart, pick the most random day in the middle of the most random week right square in the middle of any month OTHER than February. Court her by asking her out to dinner, buy her flowers, find some dark chocolate; wine her, dine her, and pop in some Ryan Gosling.

Gents, Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday that’s trying to steal the thunder you’ve got buried deep under that winter fluff. If you want some fire in your relationship, pick ANY day but February 14th. And then do it again. And again.